Cuz I can sing in chipmonk! ;D

You ready? Lets go!
Yeah, for those of you that want to know what we're all about
It's like this y'all c'mon

It's just ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

Mike
He doesn't need his name up in lights
He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the mic
He feels so unlike everybody else, alone
In spite of the fact that some people still think that they know him
But fuck em'
He knows the code
It's not about the salary
It's about reality and makin' some noise
Makin' the story
Makin' sure his clique stays up
That means when he puts it down Tak's pickin' it up

Who the hell is he anyway?
He never really talks much
Never concerned with status but still leavin' them star struck
Humbled through opportunities given to him despite the fact
That many misjudge him because he makes a livin' from writin raps
Put it together himself, now the picture connects
Never askin for someone's help, to get some respect
He's only focused on what he wrote, his will is beyond reach
And now when it all unfolds, the skill of an artist

It's just twenty percent skill
Eighty percent fear
Be one hundred percent clear 'cause Ryu is ill
Who would've thought that he'd be the one to set the west in flames
And I heard him wreckin' with The Crystal Method, Name Of The Game
Came back dropped Megadef, took 'em to church
I'm like 'bleach, man, why you have the stupidest verse?'
This dude is the truth, now everybody be givin' him guest spots
His stock's through the roof I heard he fuckin' with S-Dot!

It's just ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

They call him Ryu the sick
And he's spittin fire at Mike
Got him out the dryer he's hot
Found him in Fort Minor with Tak
Been a fuckin' annihilist porcupine
He's a prick, he's a cock
The type woman want to be with
And rappers hope he get shot
Eight years in the makin'
Patiently waitin to blow
Now the record with Shinoda's takin' over the globe
He's got a partner in crime his shit is equally dope
You wont believe the kind of shit that comes out of this kid's throat

Tak
He's not your everyday on the block
He knows how to work with what he's got
Makin' his way to the top
People think its a common owners name
People keep askin him was it given at birth
Or does it stand for an acronym?
No he's livin' proof
Got him rockin' the booth
He'll get you buzzin' quicker than a shot of vodka with juice
Him and his crew are known around as one of the best
Dedicated to what they doin give a hundred percent

Forget Mike
Nobody really knows how or why he works so hard
It seems like he's never got time
Because he writes every note and he writes every line
And I've seen him at work when that light goes on in his mind
It's like a design is written in his head every time
Before he even touches a key or speaks in a rhyme
And those motherfuckers he runs with, those kids that he signed
Ridiculous, without even tryin', how do they do it?

It's just ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

It's just ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name

omg omg omg omg omg ooooooooommmmmmmmgggggggggggaaaaaaah!!!!

X_________x I'm totally spazzing. I'm.. I'm.. oh god. I'm so happy right now. S'like.. wow. And like.. OMG! MOMMA! ARA - KUN! YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS!

OMG! <33333333

I feel retarded right now. Ahahah. I might as well end up posting this. Vrrrrrrrm. x _ -;

Note to self: try better next time and actually get the lyrics right!

Will you listen to my story
It’ll just be a minute
How can I explain
Whatever happened here never meant to hurt you
How can I cause you so much pain

When I say I’m sorry
Will you believe me
Listen to my story
Say you won’t leave me
When I say I’m sorry
Can you forgive me

When I say I will always be there
Will you believe, will you believe in me
All the words that I come up with
They’re like gasoline on flames
There’s no excuse, no explanation
Believe me if I could undo what I did wrong
I’d give away all that I own

When I say I’m sorry
Will you believe me
Listen to my story
Say you won’t leave me
When I say I’m sorry
Can you forgive me
When I say I will always be there

Will you believe
If I told you I’ve been cleanin’ my soul
And If I promise you I’ll regain control
Will you open your door
And let me in take me for who I am
And not for who I’ve been, who I’ve been

When I say I’m sorry
Will you believe me
Listen to my story
Say you won’t leave me

When I say I’m sorry
Can your forgive me
When I say I will always be there
Will you believe me
When I say I’m sorry
When I say I’m sorry
When I say I’m sorry
When I say I’m sorry
When I say I’m sorry

Can you forgive me
When I say I will always be there
Will you believe

And yet! Another spazzy entry from me.

Just want to give a scoop of what's been happening in my life as of late!

- Sleeping more
- Classes are going to start this week
- Changed concentrations at college
- Getting my own laptop fixed
- Missing Momma
- Missing Papa
- Hanging around in my room while talking to friends online
- Avoiding a spazzy friend of mine [ I LOVE HER ANYWAY ]
- Ditching a classmate of mine who doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself
- AND more importantly OBSESSING OVER DIGIMON AGAIN! WOO! OLD SCHOOL ANIME ! 8D

I hate you, Ara - kun. <3

"Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you "

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It rained this morning.

A bad sign. I dislike rain. Not because it brings back bad memories, it's not that I don't have fond ones of it-- in fact, I do. Quite a few. And maybe some others that will follow in the future.

I dislike rain for the mere fact that it makes me weak.

The cold chill running down my back once the drizzles pick up and begin to splay out along the lawn decorating it with a natural glow. It's beautiful; it is indeed a different sight to see from all of the buzzing and busy streets that I'm sure everyone is already accustomed to.

But for some reason, I end up thinking back due to this sudden gift from the heavens. I think back on things that I keep hidden deep inside. For minutes, for hours, for days, for weeks. Months, even years. Things that I want to just look away from and never think back on those mistakes that, a human like me, has committed. The painful thoughts of those events that just the mere memory brings a sharp pain deep inside my chest causing it to constrict and make it even harder to breathe.

It's like a suffocation without a concrete reason.

So my attentions drift back to my task at hand. A party. A reunion, if you will. Something I did not that long ago. A couple of weeks ago, give or take. Something simple. But the dread of seeing him still lingers. He's not a bad person, I know this for a fact. Let's just say.. a flower. It needs tender love, warmth, care.. if you give it the right needs the flower will bloom into a majestic being that attracts people's sights towards it. The same with that tingly feeling that people keep inside of their chests that causes those little butterflies to come out fluttering.

We never had anything.

I was there.

He was too. Both glances cross. A spark. A flare.

Sparks.

And then? A dead wire. A run - out battery. Nothing. Null.

I was after my own interests.
He was after models. Tough luck, huh?

He used to humiliate me in front of people. But I didn't mind. I was naive. I didn't know any better. I thought it was all fun and games; the thought of playfully hitting someone you like on the arm came to mind. And yet to him? It was an act of betrayal once our lips touched. Just a simple act that caused the whole scenery to crumble down and become just another pile of rubble before being blown away by that wind that has been dancing in our lives for generations.

And yet I had no problem with letting it all slip through my fingers. I looked towards the future, he kept looking towards the past. Now he doesn't even bother to greet me. If I want to say hello-- I have to be the one to give the initiative. If not? I'm not there. So I just beam up a smile and casually slip that little "how are you?" by him to see if he actually has the guts to reply. He does. With a nod and nothing more.

He's neighbors to the place where I was supposed to be going today. But thankfully he wasn't there. He was probably with his parents dealing with school things considering both of them-- mother and father-- work in the same college. The college that I'm going to. They actually gave me an A when I went through their courses. Of course.. History and Christian Faith to me are like stories. Stories about the past that you just end up cupping your chin and continue to listen intently to what they have to say.

That was the end of it all.

I went there, ate, talked, made jokes and drove back on home. Nothing big, see?

So now I'm just sitting here typing this and patiently waiting. Waiting for my other half. Kind of corny, huh? But it's the truth. He's one of the very few people that have been able to put up with me thus long. All of the rest pulled off the "you're too good for me" line and went on their merry way. I don't blame them, though. I'm actually quite a handful when it comes right down to it. I'm jealous, I'm greedy, I'm needy, I'm sometimes self - centered, a crybaby, a brat, a bitch, a backstabber; so many things that I could name. And yet he stays with me no matter the odds.

It kind of reminds me of my grandparent's relationship.

They're both hitting 90's soon.. and yet they married and has never gone through a divorce or even mentioned the word in their relationship. He tends for her and she tends for him. Currently he's sick. He can barely get off the bed. And yet she stays beside him-- night and day, till the final hour that his time finish. She continues to stay faithful to the man that has made her happy throughout the years.

I admire them. I secretly admire them. But I'll never gain enough courage to actually admit it.

Even writing this makes me tear up a little. Because, when I think of them I wonder "will my relationship last that long? Till I die?". I want it to be that way. I want to be happy. Even if I'm all that anyone could think of.. I'm also filled with dreams, thoughts, ideas, feelings. Feelings that have a need, a yearning to be fulfilled. What actually makes me feel complete are actually my friends, my family and him. They're my whole world. They mean the world to me. So it kind of reminds me of something I picked up a long time ago..

"To the world.. you mean a single person. But to a single person.. you might mean the world."

So.. as I finish this entry. I want to happily say..

Momma,
Papa,
Ishtar,
Steven.

I feel terrible. Horrible, even. I don't even know what the hell is wrong with me and I'm just crying my eyes out. I don't know what it caused it but my chest hurts. A lot. I guess it's the fear of attachment. Maybe I'm too attached. And that's what's causing me to break down like I do so much.

I hate being alone.

I hate the word. Alone.

I guess I'm just confused. I don't know what to think anymore. I suppose I need to face my other self and actually accept these feelings. But it's so hard to do. I don't even know where to start off. Just.. help me..


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She never slows down
She doesn't know why but she knows that when
She's all alone
Feels like it's all
Coming down

She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries
That first tear
The tears will not stop
Raining down

I finally finished Persona 4. Last night, actually. And guess what.. it was the bad ending. = =; I went through SO much trouble just to get the bad ending.. ah well. I'll try to fix that later considering I have three save files made-- one that was before the last battle, the new one [ which you have to start from level 1 ] and then I have another file that is where I was around level... 53? I don't know, something along those lines.

I pretty much enjoyed the game, dispite ending up having the bad one.;

I loved the character development, design, the atmosphere, the suspense. I love it!

Well... not as much as Persona 3, but close enough.;;;

Well I swore and swore and swore but apparently I can't find the link when I thought I had it saved somewhere in my computer.

Anyhow,

Credit of my current mood theme goes to whoever made it!

I am so... fuckin' annoyed. I have no clue why.

I mean, yes, I know I should be mature about the whole situation but the fact of the matter that just that irks me to no extent.

Okay, well... deal is that..
Nikki, Ara - kun and me were planning on making a small P4 group online, right? I know I shouldn't take things on the net so seriously, as well as the fact that it's rather pointless to get mad at someone over the screen. But it just sort of annoys me. 

Everything was fine considering not a lot of people knew about the game and there were some people who did and made some names; sure, I have absolutely no problem with this at all. But then it struck me today... someone I despise has a P4 name. And note that I don't hate anyone at all no matter how much damage they have done to me. Even my worst experience with someone... unfortunate-- I don't hate. But this person?

I know that some people actually know who I'm talking about.

They're annoying, spoiled, childish, immature, sleazy; all and all a pure - bred - leech. And when I say these things I know for a fact that a lot more people think the exact same way. Along with the fact that I never badmouth anyone. But this person? Yeah, just reached my last nerve of patience. Even today I told them to fuck off. And that's rather unnatural of me.

I guess I just really need to breathe.

I don't know. I need a voice of reason right now. = =

Song by : The Offspring
Title : Fix You


She wakes up
Rage and grace
Pulling me closer
Pushing away
And me the sharpest thorn on Your vine
Twisting and turning were all Intertwined

Broken wing
Empty glass
Words that scream and bounce Right back
She says, "You know, we'd all like to rearrange"

[chorus]
I wish I could fix you
And make you how I want you
I wish I could fix you
And I wish you could fix me
[/chorus]

I wish I could heal you
And mend where you are broken
I wish I could heal you
And I wish you could heal me

The beaming sunrise buries the night
The setting sun destroys the light
And she said "baby I've got to get going"
Cutting each other without even knowing

She sees a million stars, like holes in the sky
All gods tears for her they cry
And I am in her rain

[chorus]

Broken wing
Empty glass
Words that scream and bounce Right back
She says, "You know, we'd all like to rearrange"






Song dedicated to : Ara - kun ~ <3

To be honest? I don't even know what to write about at this point. I should probably continue on with that P3 One - shot, huh? But.. I believe I'm too lazy right now to actually think of something to actually write about.

Mainly, I haven't been doing much, considering I've been waking fairly early these past few days. Which totally and completely sucks. I love to sleep in. Not a lot, but til around 10 - 11, maybe even 12 if I sleep in. But that's as far as I can possibly reach. I remember once I slept up until 5 in the afternoon. I was maaaaad tired after that. But oh well.

Um.. Yeah.; I kind of ran out of things to say now. WORK, BRAIN, WORK! D; Ah fudge. Nevermind. I'll get something later.

Fanfiction was moved to FF.net :: 

How about it?

I'm still tired. I have a con to go to in a couple of hours, and yet for once.. I don't really feel all that hyped on going. I mean, sure it's fun to have people reunited that like the same things as you do, but.. I don't know. Guess I'm growing out of it all. I might just end up taking a break while I make my next costume with my mom which would be Sheena from ToS. Both Ara - kun and Papa saw some of the things I already have made out, so.. yeah.;

Maybe I'm just down. Or maybe it's the fact that it's that time again? Bah, I don't know. But I do hope it goes away soon.

Anyhow,

I'm currently re - obsessed with Persona 3. I have no clue why as to the reason I picked it up again. I just shoved it onto my shelf once I was done with it.. but recently I just snatched it up and that's all I can think about. Well.. partly. I mean, I can do other stuff that I'm into as well.. but the main thing I'm focused on is Minato, Shinjirou and... I forgot who else. Ah well.

In any case, it might be that I sort of miss playing it with Ara - kun. But he's currently obsessing over Tales of Vesperia. /sigh

I like that game.. but I guess I just fell out of it considering I neither have the console nor the game. Though, I will try to actually accomplish something with the knowledge that I have of it. Even if it might not be a good one.

Haven't really talked to a lot of people as of late-- just Papa and Ara - kun.. maybe a hi and a bye to Momma. I miss Fai, too. I know that they're busy and all.. I just like talking to them every now and then.

And.. I guess that's about all I can think of to write. Have to get going and pick my stuff up before my friend gets here. Going to sell some anime drawings. Wish me luck.